The two types of mothers

I have come to the conclusion that there are two types of mothers:
1) The kind who wonders when it's OK to give their child Benedryl
2) The kind who lies when she says she doesn't think about giving her child Benedryl.

This thing called parenthood is hard. It's even harder when the child (like mine) thinks sleep is for the weak.

You hear people tell you, "Sleep when your baby sleeps" as if that's going to solve all your problems. If you're like me, our invisible maid is really slacking on her job. The dishes are still in the sink, the laundry is still dirty, the house is still a mess and dinner is still frozen.

Then if you're really like me, your school work has taken a big step to the back burner. This adventure to the back burner wouldn't be such a big deal if it wasn't my LAST SEMESTER.

With all that being said, it's no surprise I am the type 1 mother. I'll admit, shamefully, that I get upset with my son at night when he doesn't want to sleep. It makes me mad. I just want to get warm and get some sleep. Why doesn't he understand?!

Because he's five-months old, that's why. He doesn't do it to hurt me, in fact I think that's the last thing he wants. I feel like he loves me so much that he just wants to be with me (even if this is only to make me feel somewhat better). It's these times that I regret breastfeeding.

If I had never breastfed, he would never be so attached to me. He would be more independent. He wouldn't want me so much.

But then those are exactly the reasons I love breastfeeding. I love that he knows me. I love that he wants me. I love that HE LOVES ME.

I don't think the lack of sleep has anything to do with me breastfeeding. Even when he's in the bed with my husband and I, he still wakes up. Sure, I could give him supplements and make him sleep longer, but I enjoy giving him strictly breast milk.

I enjoy the closeness we have together. It's not that I get angry at night because I have to get up. I get angry at night because I have to get up every hour (so it feels).

I don't know what the point of this post is, other than that parenthood is hard. As if we didn't know, right?

Maybe this is just my way of asking you guys to try not to be so harsh on other parents. The things we criticize each other for are things that we've all probably at least considered in our lives.

We've all thought about Benedryl. We've all thought about formula. We've all thought about early weaning. We've all wondered just how much it would screw our child up if we just let them cry because we can't take it anymore. All of these things and more.

So. Stop being so judgmental. Stop being so mean. You're not the baby guru, and if you are, it's because you don't have a baby.

To all my breastfeeding ladies: Don't give up.