Night out? Night in? Drinkin' again!

As I write this post, my little person is not home. I miss the kid, what with his biting my nipple, fussing, whining and absolutely adorable smile. But it's nice to be able to spend time alone with my husband (and share a bed with him). Usually on our nights out we go eat and have a drink or two (or four which is my personal limit).

Oh no! I'm ruining my milk! In the words of the Redneck Ninja, "No says I."

It's OK to drink and breastfeed.

I'm not saying to get smashed and give your baby some milk on tap (see what I did there?), but I am saying that if you have a night out and have one or even a few drinks, it's not going to ruin your milk. The alcohol content that goes into breast milk from just one beer or glass of wine is so small that even if you fed your baby immediately after, it would have no effect (Detailed information here).

Wait a minute. What about when you get a little toasty?

DON'T FREAK OUT. If you get kind of drunk, it's best not to feed your baby immediately, but once you feel sober, then it's safe to say your milk is sober (Really great article here). When my husband and I went out for his birthday and I celebrated (he stayed sober...happy birthday suga suga), I was in no shape to sit up and pump when we got home. In other words, sitting up straight wasn't really an option for me that night.

After I woke up COMPLETELY engorged (try to pump if you can just for physical comfort) and feeling like I had just undergone a cheap breast augmentation, I pumped a good 15 oz. I froze the milk (because alcohol doesn't freeze...the logic is uncanny, really) and later decided to throw it out JUST BECAUSE it looked more water than milky.

To pump and dump is wasting your milk, especially if you are sober. The truth is, the milk is not going to change just because you throw out the milk that was "in there" while you were drinking. The only reason to throw the milk out is because:

1) you're drunk and uncomfortable
2) it's more foremilk (watery) than hindmilk (fatty and more nutritious) <personal thought.

So go out, have fun and if you want to drink, sip it up!

Or not.

It's whatever.

If you are an alcoholic, you probably don't need to breastfeed. <personal thought, just throwing that out there.

None of the information above pertains to illicit or prescription drugs, so don't do those. Just say no.

Employee by day...Nursing mother all the time

I have not posted in a couple weeks because I was busy.

I was busy GRADUATING COLLEGE!

So now I have a Bachelor's degree and that's cool. I also only have a part-time job to focus on.

Oh and a baby.

...and a husband.

But at least I'm out of school, which means I have one less thing to worry about.

Of course now that I'm working more hours, I haven't been home with my baby as much and haven't been able to feed him like I was. What's a mom to do?

Pump at work!

I thought this was going to be super awkward, but it wasn't. I work in a pharmacy so when we aren't busy, I just take my hand pump into the back and express. Both of my pharmacists (both women, never breastfed) are understanding about it. Though even if they weren't, I have a right by law to take time out of my day to pump. Period.

And so do you.

For those of you who are about to start back to work and think you may have to stop breastfeeding, you don't. By law your employer is required to give you time to pump (usually 15 minutes) or nurse. I'm not sure, so don't quote me, but I think the employer also has to provide a place to pump other than a restroom. Even if you don't have a "designated pumping area" at work, PLEASE refuse to express your milk where others express their bladders/bowels.

I know there is the possibility of being harassed by your boss for taking advantage of your rights, and if this is the case, go to HR. Go to corporate. Go to whoever you need to, but don't let yourself be bullied into stopping what you feel is best for your child. There are so many different breastfeeding support groups and organizations out there that will help you find the resources you need to combat breastfeeding harassment.

The La Leche League has groups all over the world (literally). There's also a ton of groups on Twitter to follow (just search for #breastfeeding) and Facebook groups to "like." The people associated with these groups are always more than willing to help, and they have in-depth knowledge of the rights you have as a nursing mother. Don't hesitate to get help. Don't hesitate to drain those boobies!

World's best mom

Over the last six months, I have convinced myself that I am the World's Best Mom. It wasn't a hard conclusion to come to since, from the very beginning, I have been doing things that are phenomenal.

Phenomenally dumb.

I'm not saying that I'M dumb, because I'm not. But I didn't (and don't) have the first clue about being a parent, so some of the things I've put my son through are pretty sad. Hilarious, but sad.

1) It started before the child was even born. I packed our hospital bag and tried to think of everything we could possibly need. I knew I would need a gown, soap, shampoo and conditioner, panties, socks, a nursing bra. I would need the baby book and an outfit to bring my baby boy home in.

So where did I go wrong?

The day after my son entered this world, someone asked me what I was going to dress him in. I was supposed to bring that? You mean to tell me that I was supposed to bring him clothes? I thought the hospital would give him a onesie or something to put on.

I called and asked my mother-in-law to bring him a gown, any gown. She brought one with palm trees and pineapples on it. I didn't think that was bad.

Well it was.

At least it looked bad, especially with the Alabama Crimson Tide hat and booties on.

My child looked like ketchup and mustard.

2) At about a month old, the awesome ladies from my job bought my son a swing. It was the one I asked for and I loved it. It had a net around it that the light from the mobile would shine stars as it turned. It played music and rocked back and forth. I loved it, my son loved it, everyone was happy.

Except for when I had to put him in the swing and get him out of it.

Because I hit his head on the mobile EVERY TIME. Every time. And every time I would tell him, "Oh, sorry C."

I'm not going to lie, he cried. He would stop eventually, but every time he got a bump opposite of his rump, he would cry.

3) About two weeks ago I took my son to Walmart at 11:00 p.m. I know how bad that is. When I was putting him in his car seat, I told my husband that we were horrible parents. Who goes to Walmart that late anyway? The crazies, that's who.

Maybe we were crazy. I think we were. I think we are. I think the craziest thing we've ever done was have a baby, and then take that baby to Walmart.

C on the other hand, loved it. For what ever reason, the kid loves to go grocery shopping. Clearly, he's only half mine. He was content the entire time. He loved it. He looked around at the lights and all the colors of the various food boxes. He didn't fuss at all.

My husband and I had hoped that maybe the riding would put him to sleep. It didn't. He was so enthralled with Walmart that he stayed awake the entire hour and a half we were there.

Yes, I kept my son in Walmart until 12:30 a.m.

4) Last week there was a carnival in the parking lot of the K-Mart shopping center. Close to 10:00 p.m. my husband decided that he wanted to go to the carnival for some carny food.

I love carny food.

I can't say no to carny food.

So what did we do? You got it. We took our son out into the night to a carnival for the sole purpose of a corn dog and cotton candy.

My justification was that he would love all the lights (which he did) and so it was really a favor to him.

The night ended with a full belly of delicious greasy, fried food and pure sugar, three goldfish, and a sleepy baby.

5) I let my child sleep in the bed with us. In fact, sometimes I look forward to it. I like it when he sleeps in his bed because I get to cuddle up with my husband, but when our son joins us, I sleep SO much better.

I sleep better because all I have to do when he starts crying is pull my shirt up, pop a boob in his mouth, and call it a night. He sleeps better because he's literally at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Wake up. Drink. Sleep. Wake up. Drink. Sleep.

He doesn't have to even move.

Then, if he has to pee or poop, no problem! He just does it there too.

You can see how we're all OK with this arrangement.

6) The last reason I am World's Best Mom is the same reason you all are.

We love our babies.

It doesn't matter how many of them there are, how old they are, how insane they make us or how much they age us, we love our babies. That's what's makes an amazing mother. To love your child more than you love yourself. To know that you would do anything for that person just so he/she will be happy and healthy. We know what it feels like to hurt when they hurt and to be on top of the world over something as simple as a reach.

Any mother who loves her child enough to want the best for that baby, who would do and does anything for that baby, is World's Best Mother.

Happy Mother's Day, ladies.