Do I dare disturb the universe?

I only remember watching the news once as a child.
I was laying in the bed with my mother and we were about to go to sleep.
The 10 p.m. news was on TV and I remember watching it, really watching it and understanding it.
I remember crying and asking my mom why there were so many bad things in the world.
I remember thinking that I never wanted to watch the news again.

So here I am 20-plus years later working in the news. I write stories about great, wonderful things that make people smile.
But I also cover tragic, heartbreaking things that are beyond imaginable.

As I was drinking my second cup of coffee on my front porch, scrolling through Facebook, I got an email tipping me off as to what I would walk into today at work.
A woman held her adult child as he died from injuries sustained in a hit and run accident.

My stomach knotted up and my heart fell below it as the lady described holding her son, just as she had when he was born, as he died.

I thought of Connor asleep in his crib for his nap.
I thought of him as an adult.
He will forever be my baby.
Those first seconds of his life beginning on my stomach, then in my arms. His first gasp of breath and cry...I cried and laughed at the same time.

I thought about the first time I watched the news and how much I hated it. I thought about how I swore I would never watch it again.
I wondered why I'm in this business.

Why do I subject myself to such hurt and pain? Is there something else I can do? Is there another profession in the world that would give me joy and happiness?

And that's when I realized: If I want to leave my footprints in this world. there's nothing out there that doesn't involve hurt, pain and tears.

In those few moments of contemplation, I understood that although I can't save the world, I can't stop these terrible things happening in society, I can still help.
I can do what I have to in order for people to find comfort or closure.
I can pray for them and I can do my part to help find the bad guys.

At the end of the day, that's all anyone can do.
We have to stop sitting back and feeling sorry for people, wishing bad things wouldn't happen.
We have to offer what we have to others and hope we are doing the right thing.

Maybe if society started thinking that way, dark nights would turn into bright days.