Ouch.

Let me just tell you what hurts. It hurts when your child bites your nipple. It also hurts when your child bites your face. It hurts when your child watches your arm.

That's where this is going.

But the thing is, it hasn't just happened all at once. As soon as he started feeling something new happening to his body, he went into this zombie-crazed, flesh gnawing THING. He would gum my nipples, and you wouldn't think that would hurt because there are no teeth, but it does.

When the teeth finally came in on the bottom, the biting hurt worse. I would tell him no and keep him away from the boob for a few minutes so that maybe he would understand he wasn't supposed to do that. I don't know if it worked or not. I guess it didn't though, since he would just bite me again.

Now he has top teeth and they have broke through, but they're not all the way down. He still bites me. It still hurts.

Maybe I wouldn't have such a problem with this whole thing, maybe I could just look over the shooting pains in what was once my small, petite nipples, if he wouldn't get so damn happy about it. The child things it's hilarious when I tell him no. I try to be stern. I try to let him know that we aren't playing, but he doesn't care.

Even worse than that, when he starts smiling or laughing about it, his face is just so stinking cute. So of course, I start laughing.

How is this kid ever going to take me seriously? I can just see all the problems this is going to create down the road. What if I tell him not to do drugs and he laughs at me and I laugh back?

I really hope I don't ruin my child's life.

Oh my goodness. This has spiraled down quickly. Welcome to my mind.