When my daddy called me ugly

When I was in my early teen years, I was eating a steak house with my daddy. Our server was a lady who wasn't completely with it.

I don't remember exactly what she had done wrong, but I will never forget what my daddy told me.

"She ain't never got through life on anything but her looks," my daddy said.

"Do you think I could get through life on my looks?" I asked him, half jokingly.

My daddy looked at me with complete seriousness, and in a low voice said, "You better study real hard."

I guess my feelings should have been hurt, and maybe they were. I don't remember. But that statement stuck with me from then on and I'm so glad it did.

From that second, I knew I had to devote myself to my work. I knew that if I wanted something, I wasn't going to be able to simply bat my eyelashes and get it--I just didn't have the face for that.

So I worked and I worked hard. Don't get me wrong, I screwed around in high school (literally and figuratively if we're being honest), but I managed to graduate with decent grades. When I got into college my Freshman year, I put effort into my work and it paid off. My sophomore year went even better and I landed a spot on the Dean's List. When I transferred to a university, that strong work ethic transferred with me. I pushed through an easy year, I managed through a difficult year, achieving again a spot on the Dean's List, and in one of the most challenging parts of my life, I persevered and graduated with a BS degree in Communications.

It was the statement above, probably meant as a joke, that stayed in the back of my mind. Whenever I heard someone say, "It doesn't matter how I do on my finals, it matters how my future husband is doing on his," I laughed but could never relate.

Who cares how he's doing on his finals? Because when it comes down to it, I have to be the one who can take care of me. 

And I did.

I don't think my daddy meant for me to take his statement so seriously, or maybe he did. Maybe he knew that's what I needed to hear in order to push myself to be the best that I could. Maybe that was his way of encouraging me, if only because it pissed me off enough to try harder.

Maybe he knew that's what it would take. 

Maybe he was a little bit drunk.

I don't know. I don't really care at this point either.

Those words are words that I want to send to my son, maybe just in a different way. I want Connor to know that if he wants something in life, it's up to him to get it. I want Connor to go into this harsh world with the knowledge and the strength to put down what's not important and pick up what is. 

Do I get a little jealous whenever I see a stunning girl out in public, while average me is at the side of my husband? 

Well yeah.

But as looks fade, hard work doesn't. As hair becomes thin and hips become thick, people forget how pretty someone once was. 

People don't forget about how smart she was. 

And people will never forget how smart she could have been.